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10 Rules On How to Be a Great Side Chick

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1. Give him space. Don’t always be the first to text or seek him out. Give him breathing room. He has a full-time main chick, and you’re a part-timer, seasonal, a temp. (Not necessarily a bad thing)

2. Don’t let him get bored. When he texts you, keep the conversation interesting. A side chick’s main responsibility is to keep things fun and exciting. Giving him short answers and acting uninterested will make him hit you with the “I’m going to go do _____;’ talk to you later”. If you decide to text him first, substance is

3. Refrain from having “The Talk”. Having the “What are we doing, Where is this going” talk will push him away. You have to know your lane. You’re his side chick, the end. For most of you, this isn’t going anywhere other than the bedroom/hotel/backseat of the car, so starting a serious conversation is overwhelming for him and is definitely frowned upon. This will lead you to a time out.

4. Do not argue with him EVER. There should never be a reason to get into a disagreement with him. That is the Main’s responsibility. A side chick should always be cool and should never be one who stresses him out. You are his vacation, his time off, and his break from problems with the Main. Starting shit will only get your ass left.

5. Don’t ask any questions – This should be a no brainer. You can’t ask, “Where were you,” “Why didn’t you call me,” “Why are you always so busy,” “Why don’t you ever see me,” “Who were you on the phone with”… GIRL, know your lane. These are not side chick questions.

6. Do not bother trying to be part of holidays or birthdays. If he cares enough, he might celebrate these events the day after or before, but for the most part don’t expect anything like a gift or acknowledgment. These days are saved and reserved for the Mains, and it may be safe to text him to say Happy Blah Blah Blah, but a phone call should not be made. Avoid Valentine’s Day completely; don’t even send a text.

7. Don’t call first, ever. Text messages should be your only form of contact unless he decides he want to call you. You do not have phone privileges; at any given time he might be with his Main. Random calling need not apply.

8. Always look your best. As a side chick, always be on point. You’re not allowed to rock sneakers and sweats. This is very important: You always have to look your best. Looking better than the Main is an added bonus. Lip-gloss popping at all times.

9. Let him think he’s the only one. You don’t want him to think you get down like this, even if you do. You’re already a side chick; you don’t want him to think you’re a big ole hoe too.

10. Don’t stalk his whole life on the boardwalk. It’s never a good idea to stalk a person. There are helplines for this shit. Don’t open a fake Facebook account and request him as a friend, and don’t Twitter-creep on his TL. This will not lead to anything good. The less you know, the better. Looking at pictures of the “happy couple” or reading about his amazing weekend with her will only hurt you. And feelings like these are not allowed.

 

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